Can you recall the last time you were really angry at someone? Rarely does this feeling of anger help us in getting what we want. Often, it will work against us, resulting in more pain, unnecessarily. I’ve tried different techniques to manage anger and none of them has worked.
I want to share with you 5 anger management techniques so after you read this post you will be able to protect your health and keep calm when something goes wrong.
Common Ingredients of Anger are:
- Unfairness – We believe that we have been treated unfairly.
- Lost - We feel that we have lost something. Feelings, money, car, job.
- Blame – We blame other people or external situations for having caused our loss, for taking advantage of us unfairly.
- Pain - We experience pain, mental distress, and anxiety.
- Focus - We focus on the thing we don’t want.
To be angry is very unhealthy and unproductive because negative emotions damage our health. Did you know angry people are three times more likely than calmer ones to have a heart attack? Besides that when the problem has been resolved, the relationship with the person you were anger at would gotten worse, colder or more intense.
So, how can we avoid all this?
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1. Look Up!!!
The fastest way to change negative feelings is by changing our physical position right away. The easiest way to physically change is by moving our eye position. When we are in a negative state, we are likely looking down. Suddenly looking up (into our visual plane) will interrupt the negative patterns of sinking into the quicksand of bad feelings.
2. Breathe deep.
Bliss out with breathing exercises—they help slow your heart rate and keep your mind focused on something other than the source of your stress.
We cannot laugh and be upset at the same time. When we make the physical movement required to laugh or smile, we instantly feel light-hearted and joyful.
Try it now: give that beautiful smile of yours. I want a genuine and large smile now! How do you feel? Do you feel an instant jolt of joy? Did you temporarily forget about your problems?
4. Snap a Rubber Band
Wear an elastic/rubber band around your wrist, at all times. Every time you find yourself having a thought that would lead to a downward negative cycle, snap the rubber band.
Pain is an amazing motivator.
5. Focus on the issue but not on the person.
When we focus on someone who is the reason of the problem we become impatient and as the result start criticizing the person. To avoid anger we need to focus on the issue. Think about how to resolve the problem. Take action that will help you move onto the next step, and closer to resolution. Be proactive and thoughtful. The faster you can get the problem resolved, the quicker you can set yourself free, mentally.
The last one works for me better than the others.
Ok, let’s sum up what ways we can use to manage anger:
1. Look Up to change our physical position.
2. Breathe deep to focus on breathing instead of the source of your stress.
3. Laugh when you feel angry.
4. Snap a Rubber Band on your wrist to remind you that you are about to be mad.
5. Focus on the issue instead of on the person who causes the stress.
Choose the best one for you and keep calm in any situation like a Tibetan monk.
Thank you very much for your patience.